I wish I only lived at night.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
