So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
