i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
