so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
