Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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