she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
