I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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