Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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