I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
