it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
