so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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