I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
