she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
