Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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