was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
