So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
