I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
