How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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