The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
