Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize