It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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