: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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