Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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