I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
