Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
