Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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