The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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