he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
