Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
