I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
