I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize