get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
