I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
