Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
