I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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