Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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