just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
