I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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