I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
