People with herpes should wear stickers.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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