yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My penis needs a shock collar
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
