AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize