nutella sex= disaster
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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