Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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