We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is Oprah even human
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
