How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
