Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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