I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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