you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
