there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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