its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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