My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
