you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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