ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I know her cup size but not her name....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
