i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
