I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
