I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
