I need to stop coming to work sober
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
