Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize