Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
