Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
