I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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