All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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